


It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't love.

by nyxviola



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Death, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Post Reichenbach, Sebastian Moran's POV, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 13:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxviola/pseuds/nyxviola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Reichenbach, Sebastian thinks about his boss, and the relationship they had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't love.

**Author's Note:**

> (The title is obviously snatched from Palahniuk’s ‘Invisible Monsters’)  
> The characters belong to ACD and Moffat & Gatiss. I'm not making a profit out of this.  
> Beta by: not-much-else | tumblr  
> Originally posted on tumblr.

Sebastian lit another cigarette and leaned against the rail, watching the lights of the city at night.

He often thought about it. What was exactly the relationship they had, he and his boss? A shared madness? A warped mind? Some freaky genes? Was it the thirst for blood, love of chaos and destroying things?

They saw beauty in bombs and explosives, in the exact art of aiming guns; they craved the thrill of putting a knife to someone’s throat. All that they had in common.

But Sebastian couldn’t understand why the boss was so obsessed with that detective. The boss thought he needed that posh detective, to play his games, to feel alive, to feel like he had an equal. And that had been his weakness, in the end.

Still, Sebastian knew the boss needed him. Oh yes. And how.

Because the boss – but then it was just Jim – liked ropes, handcuffs, knives, gunplay, and elegant, expensive clothes to hide all those bruises and marks, the ones Sebastian had put on his body.

The boss would brood for days, thinking about the consulting detective and his pet soldier. Thinking of ways to outsmart him. Then the boss needed only a nice thorough fuck, because only that could really reset his brain. He liked it rough, the boss. And he liked it a lot. And for that he needed someone quite as crazy as he was; Sebastian was only too happy to oblige. Anything to entertain the boss, make him less bored.

Not that the boss needed him only for that, though. It was Sebastian’s army background – his skills as a sniper, his unhealthy love for explosives, alcohol, gambling and his violent temper; all that had made him Mad Seb, and all that had also led him to disgrace – that had brought them together.

They used to have fun, he and the boss. He would miss him, in a way. Still, the boss had been a fool, shooting his brains out. And why? All because he was bored, bored to death, and he wanted to corner the detective, make him suffer. And boom. The boss was gone.

From time to time he drinks in his honour. Not like he really needs an excuse to get drunk.

He raised the bottle, “To you, Boss.”


End file.
